I was happy before, don't get me wrong, but the day you were born I knew everything had changed. My priorities, my outlook on life, and most importantly, my definition of happiness. Last week I had to travel to LA for work for 3 days. I was nervous about leaving you for this long - I had only left you for one night before, and that was as far as I wanted it to go. Then another 3 days were tacked on for a trip to NY, and suddenly I jumped into panic mode staring down the wretched barrel of 6 whole days without my baby - Yowsa! I completely freaked. I left work, rushed home to pack and sped over to visit you at your daddy's band practice (where he was watching you) on my way to the airport.
I was able to spend one last hour with you before I had to jet. It was absolutely heart-breaking for a billion completely selfish reasons. It was irrational but terrifying. What if he forgets me? What if he says his first word? What if I miss his first step? As I left that night, it just didn't feel right.
Days into my business trip, I began to reflect on my life, and how empty it felt without you and your daddy in it. You two complete me to the fullest. I spent much more time than any of my friends experiencing life and making sure I knew exactly what I wanted. As soon as the true meaning of "home" has fallen over you, you realize that "home" is not actually defined by a state, city, or address. It is defined by those who you choose to surround yourself with. You and your daddy, and of course our dogs, are my family. You 4 complete me, you're all I need.
As I pulled into the driveway Sunday, this amazing feeling of calm fell over me. You and your daddy were waiting for me, sitting in front of a rainy, chilly fall bonfire in the front yard. The dogs rushed my car as I pushed through to get to you. Walking around the huge tree in the front yard, you appeared. The minute you saw me your face lit up and my world was back. Those huge brown eyes, those two bitty teeth and that gummy grin. Everything was right again in the world.
I smothered you with love, and I might have even cried, just a bit - you knew exactly who I was and we immediately fell back into our routine. You looked so much bigger, and I could see a few new behaviors you had taken on (you're obsessed with laughing and smiling these days - such an awesome phase).
So, every story has lessons learned. After 6 days without you, here are 6 very important lessons learned:
1. Don't leave both baby and daddy for 6 days - I must have at least one of you with me until you are at least 2 years old (to be reevaluated at 2 years of age)
2. I made the best decisions in my life - because they all lead me to you and your daddy
3. Someone else can take the jet-setter lifestyle, my celebrity crush is a bald 9 month old with a drooling problem
4. Do not underestimate the power of your daddy - he is amazing and has exceeded all expectations. He cooks, he cleans, he does laundry (WHAT?!?) and he loves you to pieces
5. You are the cutest baby on Earth, or at least in the US; trust me, I gawked at every baby I came in contact with from coast to coast, and yep, you were way cuter by a landslide
6. Home is where my heart is - if given the choice, 95% of the time, I will choose you and this home over any other option (the other 5% is reserved for the Sundance Film Festival, Coachella, or an otherwise music, sun or celebrity-drenched vacation that does not exceed 3 days)
I love you, dude. Thank you for changing my world and growing my heart.
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