Simple as this...

Sunday morning, sunshine, coffee, jammies, nemo, basketball.

"Mommy, why are you crying?"

Dear sweet, sweet boy,

Obviously, I have much to update your blog on. It’s been 3 months and I've been seriously neglectful to your blog.

In the short term, I feel compelled to put this down in writing so I don't forget it. More to come on major milestones soon...

We recently lost a beloved member of our family. Our little doggie Lucy is now up in heaven with Josephine. It’s an understatement to say that I’ve had a rough go of it.

But you, sweet boy, you are an angel. The night she passed, I was an absolute wreck, inconsolable. I was curled up by the bonfire outside that night, bawling my eyes out. I didn't want you to see me in such disarray so daddy kept you inside. As I sat alone by the fire, I felt you creep up quietly behind me. You had snuck outside. You stood there next to me and just stared at me – it was clear you had never seen your mama cry, and it made zero sense to you.

“Mommy, why are you crying?”, as you reached out and placed your hand on my thigh.

“Mommy’s sad, buddy. Mommy's really sad.”

“Mommy, don’t cry, it’ll be OK, Mommy. It’s OK mama. Don’t cry.”

I reached over and you gave me the biggest hug...it lingered. Like you knew what it meant. It was just what I needed to pull me back to Earth and heal my heart.

You are just the absolute sweetest little guy.

Saying goodbye to Lucy has been difficult, but having you around to remind me what this life is all about…there are no words. You've shown me compassion and care that feels far beyond your years.

Thanks for being my little reminder that life goes on, and it’s all good.

I love you bud.

I had a blog for Lucy that I stopped updating years ago. For the final post on our sweet baby girl, click here.

Listen

I read this today and it made me tear up (shocking, I know).
I have learned so much from you, and I'm happy to report that I do many of these things listed below already. Still, a good reminder...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/raluca-state/lessons-for-my-daughter_b_2409695.html?&ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009

Lessons for my daughter (or SON - please switch the he to she, where applicable):
1. Don't smoke.

2. Don't date or marry a man who smokes.

3. Don't worry about the boy you love at 13 who won't love you back. At 30, you won't remember his last name.

4. Do, however, worry a little about the boy you love at 24. He might become your husband, as your dad became mine. But if he doesn't, that's ok, too. You are only 24.

5. Learn only the basics in math. The quadratic equation will not come in handy. And I will not sweat you for it, I promise.

6. At your wedding, should you choose to go that route, spend the most money on your photographer and your rings.

7. Don't get in cars with drunk people. Call home instead, no matter the time or how old you are. Ask for your dad.

8. Don't stress about the cool kids. The less you care about them, the more they will care about you. And don't let them talk you into smoking.

9. Intern. We will help with the rent while you do.

10. Don't be defeated by "no." You will hear it many times before you hear "yes." Clearly, we are prepping you for that nice and early...

11. Don't wear too much bronzer. And groom your eyebrows, but don't go too thin. But you CAN sleep with your makeup on, really, it's no big deal.

12. Don't just be nice to your brother. Be his best friend, his biggest supporter, and his most constructive critic. Be the same to yourself.

13. Work really hard in your 20s, 30s and 40s, so that you hopefully won't have to after that. But play really hard, too. Without smoking.

14. You can't change people. Not men, not your friends, not your mother. Accept the ones you want to accept, move on from the ones you don't (except your mother, of course). You won't look back, I promise.

15. Know that the right music can change any mood.

16. Go to Paris. And then go again. And then go again.

17. Spend money on expensive shoes, handbags and jewelry. Don't waste it on expensive makeup and jeans.

18. Create a memory box. Keep it small, and throw out everything else. Your prized possessions will edit themselves.

19. Don't worry if you can't cook. Some things are just genetic. You won't starve.

20. You can hate me sometimes. And I can hate you sometimes. As long as we both remember that underneath all that hate, there is a love like no other.

Lessons for me: 
1. Don't smoke.

2. Be happy you married a man who doesn't smoke.

3. Don't sweat the small stuff. No, really, try not to. And that includes basically everything work-related.

4. The following sayings tend to ring true 9 times out of 10: "this too shall pass" and "everything happens for a reason."

5. There is no need to learn to drive a stick. Don't let people pressure you into thinking there is.

6. Even though New Year's resolutions are a waste of time and energy and you never stick to them, don't give it up. If anything, it holds you accountable for a day.

7. Find time for your husband. Find time for your friends. Find time for your mother. But before all that, find time for yourself.

8. Learning to meditate is much harder than it sounds. If it's stressing you out too much, it's clearly not for you. And that's ok. An hour in silence with a new issue of Vogue can be just as therapeutic.

9. When your 3-year-old is heading straight into meltdown mode, tickle her.

10. A well-positioned scarf can make any outfit look better.

11. A blow-out is worth every penny. Every time.

12. You know those best friends who never find time to call you back and only send you birthday greetings via Facebook? They are not your best friends.

13. Vacation once per year. A real vacation.

14. Snack.

15. When it is time to call it a day, call it a day.

16. When your kid is acting silly, laugh first, get annoyed second.

17. Embrace change. Of all shapes and sizes.

18. Create a playlist of your favorite songs from when you were 18. Keep it handy in the car.

19. Cry when you need to. But not at work.

20. Hate your husband sometimes. Hate your kids sometimes. Hate yourself sometimes. But remember that underneath all that hate, there is a love like no other.

Holiday Break: A Photo Essay

It's such a weird, awesome treat to have 13 whole days off in a row that I get to spend at home with you!  To be honest, that was by far the best Christmas gift I received. We relaxed, we went on adventures and caught up on life. You have learned so many new words, you're so smart, funny and attentive, curious and adventurous. 

I wrote myself a few notes so I didn't forget these tiny moments. Here's your list:

Of course you got a TON of gifts on Christmas, most of which you were quite content with, but whenever you opened a gift with clothes in them, you asked us to "put them back in" and pushed them away. Pretty cute, and also a bit offensive. But more cut than offensive. 

Trucks Yaaaaay (Anything: "Yaaaaay") I love your "yay" + clap. It reminds me of me.

Your favorite movie in the entire world is Finding Nemo. You know all the words.

Your 2nd fav movie is Cars. 

Favorite stocking stuffer = a slinky. Played with it for hours. "Watch Dis Grandma"

We stayed at Midnight Mass on Christmas eve for a total of 15 minutes bc you couldn't stop running. "Mama, can't stop wunning"

We made christmas cookies on 5 different days. You love baking. I love your love for baking.

Christmas morning, you crawled in bed with daddy and I, and proceeded to fall back asleep cuddled up to daddy. we were both speechless, still are. too sweet.

"Touch da wights" ~(christmas lights)

Fly! (Hands up, running as fast as you can)

OTHER cute stuff you're doing right now:

Hold dis for a second

You let the dogs in (goose and wink)

Lincoln sit!

(mama, dada, etc) Watch this!

You know in/out/up/down - all directions

You know most of your letters and numbers (WHAT?!?)

And here's a photo journey through our 13 days of awesomeness:

Everybody say: VACATION! (thanks iphone)

We finally visited OMSI and it was SO FUN! Oregon's Museum of Science and Industry has some great exhibits for kids. You are quite the little scientist, bud.

*****

Finger painting rules

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COOKIES!

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Crazy Christmas lights at Peacock Lane

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New Christmas Eve Tradition we started this year: Baking/decorating Christmas sugar cookies. Yum!

*****

Uncle Cam styled you on Christmas Eve - this will not be a new tradition. ;-)

*****

Christmas morning snuggles (SWOON)

*****

The (new) Portland Aquarium! We pet the sharks and stingrays and got to play in the tidepools where baby stingrays swam around. way cool, dude.

       

*****

Evergreen Aviation and Space Museum in McMinnville. This is your happy place. You are obsessed with all things airplanes and your eyes were just wide open the ENTIRE TIME! ZOMG!

*****

Another crisp December walk with goose. You make a great dogwalker (and puddle-jumper), bud.

*****

After puddle jumping, we hopped in the car and took an hour drive to the beach to watch the sunset. So thankful we live so close to the beach and have a car that likes driving on it. In addition to being a killer puddle-jumper and dog-walker, you're also a crazy beach race-car driver. 

*****

We spent New Years Eve at Kati's house with all of our favorite friends. We ate, we played games, you went to bed like a champ in the spare room and we all spent the night. A safe and lovely NYE. Yay for friends with kids!

Here's to the best year ever!